I know that sometimes we discover that the people we choose to take this special place in our special day end up being clueless as to their part. Or sometimes they end up being lemons altogether!

A great idea to approaching the first category, the clueless but innocent ones is to take them out for lunch or a drink and let them know how excited and honored you are to have them be a part of your special day. Express some of the reasons why you chose them. Perhaps a not so subtle gift of a book of bridesmaid duties will get the point across for the friend or loved one who is acting amiss. Genuine thoughtfulness and sincerity is sure to get some excellent results!

For the attendant who may fall into on the second category – “the lemons”, you have two choices. You can either have a serious heart to heart with your defiant bridesmaid regarding the matter and hope she is able to see the error of her ways. Or you can simply ask her to step aside by letting her know that the arrangement is not working out. Unfortunately, some friends and loved ones are too busy to take this important roll and would be more comfortable coming to the wedding as guests.

Every bride deserves to be standing with attendants who have been there in times of joy and crisis, maids who have made life easier and shared in life’s celebrations as planning turns to enjoying this joyous occasion. No one should have to tolerate misbehavior and disloyalty at this particular time. This is about you sharing this day with those who are selflessly there for you.