For some the transformation is gradual, occurring slowly over an extended period of time; for others it happens quickly, an overnight alteration. Then there are those fortunate enough to escape the transformation into a bridezilla completely (I say they are fortunate but in reality it’s their family and friends who are thanking their lucky stars). Yes the idea of the bride-monster has certainly become fixed in the minds of today’s society even spawning the creation of a rather amusing television show. So what happens to turn these demure, blushing, brides-to-be into horn-sprouting, fire-breathing, head-for-the-hills nightmares? In a word—stress. Planning a wedding today is often a great deal more stressful than it was in times past. After all, many women are working full time, involved in social commitments and attending college while trying to fit in all the required caterer meetings, reception hall tours and dress fittings. It’s enough to make anyone snap and I should know! I was a full-time student in my junior year of college and working part-time while I was planning my wedding. It just seemed impossible to fit everything in! While I believe I escaped a total metamorphosis into a bridezilla, I know I had my moments of being unreasonable and short-tempered. I learned a few things along the way that helped me cope when life started feeling out of control and hopefully they’ll help restore some of your sanity too. Just remember to RELAX.

Rejuvenate- when you start to feel like you’re about to be crushed by the weight of the world on your shoulders, take a time out and do something that you love. Participating in a favorite hobby or activity gives your mind and body a break from the long list of to-do’s on your daily plate and a chance to re-focus on more positive things. Go for a walk, take a long bath, spend an evening out with your fiancé discussing non-wedding issues, watch a movie, or snuggle up in bed with a good book. Once you’ve had a chance to unwind you’ll be ready to tackle all those responsibilities with renewed energy. Enjoy- this really is an exciting time of your life and despite everything that needs to be accomplished is still something you should have fun with. When will you next have the chance to pick out bushels of flowers, sample free cake and food, find that one dress that makes you feel like a princess, and have so many people constantly concerned about what you want? Don’t let the little (or sometimes big) frustrations of wedding planning take away from your overall enjoyment of this otherwise happy time!

Laugh- keep a sense of humor. Mistakes happen, people get upset, small disappointments come but through it all remember to smile and not let it get you down. You can find a positive in almost every situation. An example from my wedding: the person in charge of the music at the reception site lost the CD and he ended up playing our first-dance song 4 times in a row while he tried to find it again! It was embarrassing at first but soon everyone was up dancing anyway and though the CD was finally found, people joked the rest of the night that they were going to request our song again. It’s something we still laugh about today. Attitude- a good one is sure to make any situation better while a bad one will always make things worse. Having the bridezilla attitude during your wedding will not only make you unhappy but is bound to make everyone around you miserable too. After all, it’s not just you that will always remember your wedding but your friends and family as well. You’ll want them to think back on the event as a time of happiness and enjoyment, not one of short-tempers and tension. If you find yourself in the middle of less than ideal circumstances take a deep breath and adjust your attitude to fit. You may not be able to control what’s happening around you but there’s comfort in knowing you can always control yourself!

X-amine your perspective- this is something that really helped me during the wedding planning process. Finding the perfect place to hold our reception had begun to seem like an impossibility and it soon took over my thoughts. Fortunately before I got too pointy-tailed, I was lovingly reminded by a family member that while the events of the Big Day are exciting and important it’s the marriage itself that really matters and it’s that, after all, that everyone gathers together to celebrate. If you find yourself getting so wrapped up in the details of the party that you begin to overlook the point of the celebration, take a step back and find a new perspective. The reception will end, the guests will go home and then it will be time for you and your husband to get started on your new life. The wedding lasts just for a day but your marriage will last forever.

Now you know what to do when you start to feel the stresses of life and wedding planning piling up on top of you. Just RELAX and you’ll have your inner bridezilla tamed in no time!

- Kelsey Gonzalez