Planning a wedding is much like hosting a dinner party, but on a larger scale (and with a far superior dress!). A considerate hostess will consider her guests' palates, abide any dietary restrictions, select prime seasonal produce, and ensure a well-blended menu. When you expect eight friends for an evening, these guidelines prove simple to follow. But add a zero (or more) to that number and it can prove a dauntless task. How can even the most adept chef serve food that a) pleases everyone's taste; b) causes no allergic reactions; and c) conforms to personal or religious limitations?
Relax. While you do want your guests to enjoy the spread you spent good money for, you do not have to make sure every single food item aligns with every single food restriction out there. Vegans, vegetarians, organic devotees, protein addicts, kosher Jews, strict Buddhists…to serve food that follows all these guidelines would leave a bride serving lettuce and nuts! Simply keep a few pointers in mind and your guests will leave your reception fulfilled both physically and spiritually.
Afternoon weddings do not need to serve as much food as an evening affair. If you time a ceremony for 3:00pm, with a reception starting at 4:00pm, your event should conclude by 7:00pm. Technically this falls before the end of the dinner hour, and light hors d'oeuvres and beverages would suffice for the guests. Only a few selections need be offered, and many options could satisfy all appetites: salted roasted almonds, crudite with flavored dips and crème freche, perhaps some upscale deli meats or salads would round out a casual affair when ended with the wedding cake.
If the reception will take place after a later ceremony, then guests must be accommodated with heavier fare. A menu with heavy appetizers can provide more flexibility and yet satiate as much as a sit-down dinner. If you know specifically of certain dietary needs -- for example, a significant number of guests honor kosher Jewish laws -- then be sure to have at least four options that comply with their needs. For invite lists that include the conservative Midwestern crew that loves meat and potatoes to urban vegan hipsters, consider a broader approach. Literally. Have a meat carving table on one side of the area, with a few meat/egg/dairy free options across the way (if they don't eat the items, don't force them to watch the preparation). And remember — while you may want vegan options available, don't compel yourself to serve pricey ingredients. Creating roasted kebabs from fruits and vegetables purchased at the farmers market proves a price-sensitive approach rather than creating an elaborate quiche using egg substitute and tofu cheese.
A caterer will want to take more care when dealing with strict allergies over mere preferences. Some allergens can have violent or deadly results when ingested. For a cousin who swells up when merely looking at a strawberry, take caution and choose to not include them anywhere in the menu. Be sure to have this written in to your catering contract… should any accidents arise, you will have written proof of the instructions. Many who are allergic will ask servers about the ingredients as they acutely know their limits. To assist, you may print ingredient lists to have by specific foods. However, only tackle this endeavor if you know of specific allergens to avoid… or else you may find yourself the night before your wedding typing the recipe for peanut sate when it may not be warranted. A "life or death" allergy sufferer may even bring a few snacks or eat ahead of time.
Formal wedding receptions often serve a full course, sit-down meal. When budget bears little concern, caterers have full reign to prepare more options. Response cards may even include space to list food selections… vegetarians can choose the fish, vegans can write in "no animal products," shellfish avoiders can ask to not have the ingredient touch any of their food prep items. Of course, this service comes with the dollar signs, but ensures that every conceivable request can be honored. However, it still pays to have in writing any strict allergies known about ahead of time as with any other event.
The most important item to note after preparing such a thoughtful menu for your guests is one thing that too many brides forget: Be sure to eat something at your own wedding! If you have spent countless hours during the planning process, don't get caught up in the happiness of the day to taste all of your hard work. As a precaution, ask the caterer to fix a doggie bag for the happy couple's first dinner as husband and wife.
-- Jennifer Mackethan