Let's be honest: weddings hold a sense of wonder and romance for women that men just don't get. Husbands-to-be and their groomsmen did not grow up playing with dolls, creating elaborate weddings and setting up house. For the guys, most often a wedding is a perfect opportunity to see old buddies, have some drinks, and either laugh at or ignore the acute details that women find so crucial.

Here are some pointers for brides to take into consideration so that all the guests and wedding party members enjoy themselves... not just the women. First of all, remember that most men will not notice the color coordinated soaps in the restroom or that the filling in the cake was made from imported kiwi fruit. And that is perfectly fine. Don't be offended if men don't take stock of these details and comment upon them. With food, music, and cold drinks (if offered), men will be perfectly happy and leave the women to ogle the intricate butter cream designs on the cake.

Try to set time limits for events involving the wedding party (the women will appreciate this too!). Everything from toasts to pictures can drag on ad infinitum if there is no goal in sight. Ask your wedding coordinator or another third party to time toasts to a few minutes each. Make a list of all the posed pictures you want to secure from the photographer ahead of time... that way no one will be swayed to request yet another shot of all the third cousins. Unless there are habitual late arrivers in the group, don't force the groomsmen to arrive at the ceremony location five hours ahead of the wedding. It takes much less time to slip on a suit and tie than the average woman to primp and dress.

If space allows, provide diversions for men who may not enjoy dancing or mingling. For example, at a beach side wedding a game of bocce ball could provide amusement. A traditional reception at a hotel or country club could have tables set up in the corner with card or board games. However, don't impose on other guests just to appease the few... do not provide televisions to broadcast a popular basketball game if it will take away from the focus of the event.

Music often provides the primary form of entertainment at a wedding reception. Surprise the male population and have the band or DJ play songs that will take them back to their own "days of glory"... whether that means Jimi Hendrix, Lynyrd Skynrd or Guns N'Roses. Trust us, some of the best pictures from your wedding will be the candid shots of your husband's college roommate showing your grandmother how to do rocker hands.

In regards to importance, food most likely falls behind drinks but ahead of music where men are concerned! Cucumber sandwiches, crudites, and fruit platters have their place, usually where only ladies will be dining at bridal showers and other gatherings. For the reception, even if money is an issue, consider serving at least one hearty menu item. When pre-sliced in to small, bite-sized portions, prime rib can go a long way. Mini hamburgers (often called "sliders") have become popular in recent years and may be more suitable for an informal, afternoon affair. Vegetarian foods can even be considered filling... think of mashed potato bars, portabello mushroom sautees, or chunky black bean soup served in demitasse cups.

Finally, remember that all the guests and members of the party should be there because they care about you and seeing you on the happiest day of your life. Weddings should strive to be an enjoyable and memorable day for everyone included, and most of all for the bride and groom. Take steps to ensure your family and friends have a nice time, but remember that ultimately it matters most that you are comfortable and have the day just as you dreamed it would be.


-- Jennifer Mackethan