Aside from the rare elopement or simple service with the justice of the peace, most weddings benefit from offering a gift registry to the invited guests. After all, a personally selected registry helps prevent such heartfelt presents as kitschy salt and pepper shakers, fondue pots, and countless picture frames.

Many stores push potential sales by providing extensive "suggestion" lists to influence registries, along with scanner guns to wave around with abandon and add to the sum total. Rather than submit to this pressure, take some steps to prepare a list the bride and groom will honestly appreciate.

Any wedding publication worth its weight in steak knives provides an exhaustive catalog from linens to flatware to house goods. Be wary of these; they often provide the full gamut of what is available, and few brides necessitate owning every single item on the list. Pay attention to what you believe you will need daily, allowing for a few indulgences to be broken out a few times a year (such as sure-to-be-heirloom candle sticks or Christmas china).

Friends who have already walked down the aisle can provide hindsight vision on what they actually utilize and what has remained in the closet since being unwrapped. Whereas a massage seat cushion seems amazing during that initial visit to Bed, Bath and Beyond, most often this will be relegated to one of two piles: "Goodwill" or "re-gift." Friends can set you on the more responsible path of selecting quality knife sets over frivolous extras.

For once, allow yourself to be selfish and register for items you may not normally purchase for yourself. Kitchen towels from a gourmet food store, gold plate chargers, candle snuffers... all perfectly acceptable accessories that do not often find themselves on a typical shopping list. Let go and find peace that someone will appreciate having more economically priced selections to buy for a wedding gift.

In the past few decades, the average age of engaged couples has risen by the year. Understandably, as brides and grooms have a few more years behind them, they also have more stuff in their homes. They may not need yet another pot and already own full sets of sheets. To serve this growing group, new companies have started offering various donation sites where couples can request funds to contribute to the honeymoon, gift cards at home improvement stores, and even the down payment on a house.

Another website option benefits strangers in need instead of the couple. Charitable organizations now accept monetary donations (in the name of the bride and groom) that fund mosquito nets, farming animals, and medicine for poverty-stricken communities around the world. For those that already have it all, it's possible they would rather have their friends benefit people in true need as a means of sharing their marriage joy.

Keep in mind, older or more traditional invitees may not feel comfortable donating at a (somewhat) impersonal website, so be prepared for some wrapped boxes showing up at the reception even if you choose this route.

Do not feel forced to love everything on the list your spouse wishes to request. A separate "bride" and "groom" list pleases both, and comes in especially handy should anyone offer to host a "couple's shower." He can choose all the fishing tackle, drill bits, or electronics he desires, while she can add monogrammed lace hand towels to her heart's content.

No matter how much care and thought contribute to planning a registry, there are bound to be guests who, within their right, purchase items not listed. Still send a warm thank you note, but if the gift truly does not suit your taste, feel free to return or exchange for something that will find a place in your home. If there is no receipt included, or the gift cannot be returned, find a good consignment store... someone will certainly be dying to buy that fondue pot.

--Jennifer Mackethan