Whether they’re in response to gifts you’ve received at an Engagement Party, Bridal Shower, or the wedding itself thank you notes are a must. While you no doubt dread sending out rounds of hand-written cards to all your friends and family it’s important that their efforts in wishing you well be acknowledged—and yes you should even send one to the person that bought you the fish-shaped vase. Below you’ll find a few tips to make your hours of thank you writing a little easier.

1. Keep record of the gifts you receive and who they’re from so that you’re not frantically trying to remember who sent you the lava lamp when it’s time to write out the thank you’s. Some people prefer to do it the old fashioned way and keep a notepad especially for that purpose while others like to go high-tech and create a spreadsheet. Go with whichever is easiest for you so that you won’t forget to keep it up to date! If you’re receiving gifts at a party or shower, have one of your bridesmaids or a family member make a list as you open each gift so that you can refer to it later. Since you’ll probably be receiving presents through the mail as well you should also have some form of gift-list that you use to keep track of those that are sent to your home. Keeping record of your gifts and their givers will help ensure that no one slips through the cracks when you’re sending out your notes!

2. Personalize your thank you notes. Don’t send the same message to your best friend that you sent to your Aunt May; rather make sure that everyone gets a unique, hand-written note that express your sincere gratitude for their love and attention. Your guests will want to feel that you are responding to them personally so be sure to mention the gift they gave you and let them know how you plan to use it if possible. A quick example: “Thank you so much for the pancake griddle. Pancake’s are John’s favorite breakfast so it’s sure to get a lot of use!” Taking a little bit of extra time in personalizing your messages will leave your loved-ones feeling, well…loved!

3. If you’ve received a monetary gift, be sure to include what you’re hoping to put it towards when you write your thank you. Since money can be put to a few more uses than a waffle iron can, the giver will probably be anxious to know if their gift will help you get something that you really need or want. There’s no need to describe the exact color and texture of the couch you’re hoping to purchase, just letting them know that you intend to use their present to help you furnish your home will be sufficient. Also, don’t automatically assume that someone who gives money is taking the lazy way out of finding a present; often they’re just trying to take the strain off the happy couple’s bank account by contributing to their new life financially. I know we certainly appreciated that when we were starting out!

4. Send out your thank you notes sooner rather than later. This lets everyone know that you truly appreciate their contribution instead of making them feel that you’re only fulfilling an annoying obligation. Strictly speaking, your thank you’s should go out no later than three months after receiving the gift, however if that time comes and goes you shouldn’t use it as an excuse not to send them out at all. The saying “better late than never” still applies but “the sooner, the better” is one you should take to heart when it comes to thank you notes.

5. No matter how many thank you cards you have to write don’t let the temptation to just send out a mass e-mail override your good sense. While it may technically be a thank you it’s a very tacky one and will make your guests feel that their gifts are more important to you than they are. They took the time and effort to select a gift they hoped would make you happy and you should take the time and effort to let them know how much you appreciate that. While we’re on the subject, another practice that’s on the tacky side is having your guests make out self-addressed envelopes for their own thank you cards. This leaves the guest with the same feeling as an e-mailed thank you and should be avoided.

6. If you have to return a gift, don’t include that in your thank you card. It’s the thought that counts after all and your guest will no doubt be hurt that you are unable (or unwilling) to use their present. Send them a note just like you would to everyone else and focus on how much you appreciate their thoughtfulness and love in selecting your gift. This is a situation you could very easily be faced with since it’s not uncommon—despite gift registries—to receive more than one of the same item.

Though writing hundreds of thank you cards can be tedious and time consuming it’s also very worthwhile since you’re letting your friends and family know how much you appreciate them. If you find yourself feeling truly overwhelmed by the whole process, call in your bridesmaids to help you address and stuff the envelopes, that way you’ll be sending out your thank you’s and having fun at the same time!

- Kelsey Gonzalez